I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
