yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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