There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
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I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The ass gains better be worth it
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