i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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