I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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