I just made out with a guy for $7.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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