If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
