hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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