youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
