Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize