hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
