i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I will pee on everything he values.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
