you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
