So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
