hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
