i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
