i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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