i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
