she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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