I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
