I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
