Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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