So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
