I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
