yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
