what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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