I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
