I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
