This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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