rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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