i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
