3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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