Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
