I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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