Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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