We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's blow job season.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
