shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
