"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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