woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
