Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
