So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
