I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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