I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
