Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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