dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
