all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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