He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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