I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize