Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
