the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
