My entire life is one complicated drinking game
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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