New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
