just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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