You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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