the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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