I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
