Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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