He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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