so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
my shit smells like andre
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
