Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
