Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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