I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
