grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
