Can i not drive my cunt home
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize