He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize