Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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