So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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